Friday, November 30, 2007

100 things about Tekfan33

1. I am adopted
2. The day my daughter was born I said "This is the first person I've ever known that is actually, truly related to me"
3. I did not enjoy being pregnant, but I loved that I was having a baby.
4. I've traveled as far east as Spain, and as far west as Hawaii
5. My children are little miniature versions of me. My son more than my daughter.
6. I start planning for Christmas in February - sometimes even earlier.
7. I like snowfalls through December. After that, I don't like them.
8. I must have coffee every morning.
9. I enjoy cooking and I am good at it.
10. As a child/adolescent, I was very insecure.
11. I am a voracious reader.
12. I don't read newspapers or watch local news. Any info I think I need I get online.
13. I do not like Valentine's Day.
14. I do not particularly like Halloween but I partake more now that I have children.
15. I do not like my birthday. Related to #1.
16. I am an Aries. A fire sign.
17. I have 4 tattoos.
18. I would like more.
19. One of my tattoos is the chinese symbol for fire. See #16.
20. I am a huge Red Sox fan.
21. If theory holds true and Jason Varitek manages a MLB team someday, I will also be a fan of that team.
22. I skipped my recent high school reunion.
23. I love almost every kind of music. I have music on constantly.
24. I am always cold.
25. People tease me about the way I sneeze.
26. My favorite color is very dark blue.
27. I am not a girly girl. My daughter is.
28. I do not like seafood of any kind.
29. I live in Maine - the lobster capital of the world.
30. I have OCD. It manifests itself in routine, organization, and schedules.
31. I am extremely nearsighted. My eye doctor "guesstimates" my eyesight to be 20/600 uncorrected. He says past a certain point, they can't actually be sure what it is. I am far past that point.
32. I hate wearing glasses. I wear my contacts all day every day and only put on my glasses right before bed.
33. I would like to have Lasik surgery but am wary - it's my EYES.
34. I have a very sensitive sense of smell. I sometimes drive people crazy with my constant comments on smells, especially bad ones.
35. Almost every perfume I've ever tried smells bad on me. I have found one I like and have used it exclusively for about 10 or 12 years.
36. It has become my signature scent and people recognize me by it, sometimes before they see me. It is not strong, just mine.
37. I have been in therapy. I recommend it.
38. I was married at 22.
39. I was divorced at 32.
40. My ex-husband is very angry at me but we try to get along for the sake of our children.
41. The dentist scares me.
42. I brush my teeth at least three times a day. Sometimes more.
43. I test at a high level of intelligence but that might surprise people who knew me in school.
44. In school I was an underachiever who was just biding her time until takeoff.
45. I try to be funny but my humor is sometimes seen as sarcasm. It could be.
46. I enjoy thunder storms.
47. I don't mind "falling back" and having darkness arrive earlier.
48. I love the ocean. I miss living near it.
49. I had never been to Disney World until I took my children when I was 34.
50. I love traveling and wish I had the finances and time to do more of it.
51. I dye my hair. It's a similar shade to my own only with a little more "oomph". I am covering the gray which appeared when I was just 29.
52. My hair is wavy at the bottom, which I hate.
53. My eyes seem to change color. The postman and each child all have different answers for what color my eyes are. I just say they are Hazel.
54. I work from home for a hospital about two hours away. I travel there about twice a month.
55. I oppose the war.
56. I support and respect our troops.
57. I have a thing for dolphins.
58. My children have been swimming with dolphins. I have not.
59. I drive a small SUV but wish I didn't have to. A sedan just wasn't big enough.
60. I used to own a mini-van. I cannot bring myself to do that again.
61. My toenails are always polished. Always.
62. I get my fingernails done at a salon. Seems to contradict # 27, doesn't it?
63. I love chocolate. Anything chocolate.
64. I am still a little bit afraid of the dark.
65. I have a friend who believes I'm of Greek heritage because she saw a child in Athens who was the spitting image of me. See #1.
66. Greece is on the list of places I'd like to visit.
67. I used to want to be a big city girl, living in New York.
68. I am glad I did not turn into that Big City Girl.
69. I am pro-choice.
70. I am fairly liberal, but have a few conservative beliefs also.
71. I am registered to vote as an Independent.
72. I am a proponent of equal rights.
73. I was raised Catholic but I no longer practice.
74. I do not claim to be any one particular religion.
75. I have a loud distinctive laugh. People either love it or hate it - there is no middle ground.
76. I am short.
77. I could not have any more children after my second child and I was ok with that.
78. I had a miscarriage on my daughter's second birthday. I don't think I will ever tell her.
79. I am easily bored.
80. I was first chair in the flute section my freshmen and sophomore year of HS. I quit band my junior year. See #44.
81. I don't remember any of the finger positions on a flute.
82. The TV show Will and Grace made me laugh out loud, even when I was watching alone. I have several seasons on DVD.
83. I am addicted to chapstick. They are in my car, in the bathroom, on the nightstand, in my coat pockets, and on my desk. There might be one in a cabinet in the kitchen.
84. I am careful when I speak. Words cannot be taken back once they are out there.
85. We have 4 dogs.
86. We have 2 cats.
87. I have ruled there are to be absolutely no more pets. Not even a fish.
88. I can be a clean freak. See # 30.
89. It's hard to be a clean freak with a yellow lab who sheds. Alot.
90. The yellow lab is my favorite dog. His name is Jake.
91. I love glitter. I'm like a fish.
92. It really bothers my mother that I live with a man out of wedlock. See # 73. She says it doesn't, but I know it does.
93. Snakes terrify me. Even pictures or on TV.
94. Not fond of spiders either.
95. I have bad dreams or nightmares probably an average of 2 or 3 times a week.
96. I drink too much diet soda and not enough water.
97. I am not too crafty although I want to be and I try.
98. I curse too much - but I try not to in front of my kids.
99. I have only worked for two organizations my entire adult life. One for 9 years and the other going on 11 years.
100.I am blessed.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Princesses and Legos

Every year my office adopts a family at Christmas time. Yesterday we received their wish lists. Every year I tear up when I read their lists. This year we have a mom and three children in one family, and we also requested a single older person. There was a note on the older lady's list stating she was quite needy but reluctant to ask for help. She listed things such as V-8 juice, coffee, and cat food. Both adults asked for help with utilities, heating oil, and/or grocery store gift cards.

I am so very blessed. I know this. I know this on a subconscious level - but it is good to have a reminder to bring it to the forefront of my mind once in a while.

Today I had some time to sort and wrap presents. I have wrapped only for the kids and the postman so far and I estimate that I've wrapped 40 gifts...with maybe 20 or so left to go. Granted, some are very inexpensive trinkets...but some are a bit costly. I am so very lucky that I could afford to get those things for them. Don't get me wrong....I am not what anyone would consider wealthy. I worry about money. But even so, I am able to provide for my children. How my heart breaks for mothers who may not be able to say the same. I wish I could buy everything on their lists and pay their utilities for the next year. My last conscious thought last night was "Maybe I'll win the Powerball tonight and then I can take care of all the items on the lists." (The fact that I didn't actually buy a ticket was sort of inconsequential in my mind - the postman always buys one and he has assured me he will share).

Tonight the kids and I headed out to purchase some of the items. I like my children to be involved so that on some level they might understand that they too are blessed. We got some clothes, lipgloss, legos, and play princess jewelry for the kids and we got cat food, coffee, paper towels, and V-8 for the older woman. I really wish I knew her size so I could buy her a sweater or some slippers or something cozy. Something useful besides just the basic needs she listed. We also bought cat food paper towels and bleach for the local animal shelter.

I love this part of the holiday season - the help, however small, that I am able to provide to others.

The habit of giving only enhances the desire to give. ~ Walt Whitman

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Decorating

Decorating begins today. I have put a few things out here and there...but today I am venturing out to put the lights and garland on the deck and the wreaths on the doors. This weekend I will put up the tree so the kids can decorate it.

I am in a pretty big funk. I generally love this time of year. I love giving, I love being charitable, I love the lights and the glitter and the feeling of togetherness. But something isn't quite right this year and I don't know what it is. Something feels "off".

I am bothered by the fact that I am bothered. I have my health as do my children and the postman. We have a nice home, we have what we need and a lot of what we want. Maybe it's the feeling of dread and doom...when things are going well we start to wonder when it will end. I'm not sure that it is....like I've said, I can't place my finger on what it is. I hope I snap out of it soon so I can enjoy the season.

I love Christmas and I really got in to the spirit of it - early on in the year usually. Maybe June, July, perhaps May or April, I would begin to talk about what we would do on Christmas. ~ Zooey Deschanel

Sunday, November 18, 2007

9 Days

I don't know how so much time has passed between posts...I apologize for the lapse.

I have been beyond busy...work, home, kids...it's all been crazy lately. I have a cold, which is not surprising given my schedule the last few weeks. I've been working extra - not only from home - I have driven in to the office on several occasions. My children have been busy with activities, we've been preparing for the holidays.

I am looking forward to this holiday season. I am almost done with shopping so all that is left is decorating, wrapping, and cooking - activities that I truly enjoy!

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence. ~ Erma Bombeck

Friday, November 09, 2007

Gifted and Talented

We had parent/teacher conferences today. My daughter's teacher wants to have her tested for the Gifted and Talented program at her school.

Both kids got glowing comments as far as their behavior and social skills - I am very happy to hear that because right now they are both getting ready for bed after being yelled at for wrestling...which ended, as it invariably does, with one of them in tears.

I am an only child, so I am the first to admit that I don't have any experience to draw from when it comes to sibling relationships. Man! Do these two fight! Daily. Multiple times daily. They know exactly how to push each other's buttons...from swinging their book bags at each other or kicking dirt at each other while waiting for the bus to arguments over who sits where when they watch tv together. It makes me insane. I wonder if I get so annoyed because part of me thinks I am not raising them properly. When I truly think about that it doesn't quite make sense though - in school they seem to be models of citizenship. In fact, my son earned the citizenship award for his school last year. So why are they so awful to each other? Is it because it is "safe"? They know I will love them no matter how much they argue, or they know they will always have each other even when their dad and I are gone? Whatever the reason, I do wish that we could go one day, at least once in a while, without a Battle Royale.

If you don't understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child. ~Linda Sunshine

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Sailboats and broken hearts

I had a dream last night that the postman had a beautiful sailboat that he never told me about because he had spent a good deal of time on it with his former wife and wanted to keep those memories private.

Hm.

I don't like dreams that put me in a bad mood right upon waking. I know how ridiculous that is.

I know why I had the dream...or at least partly why. I have a dear friend who is having her heart broken. For privacy, I won't reveal too many details. She told me yesterday that she is involved in a relationship that most likely will not work and they are at the point where they are realizing that unlikelihood. Still, even with that rational realization, her heart breaks for what might have been. My heart broke for her as she told me.

The one good thing that may come from this is that she will realize just how beautiful she is - inside and out (what a cliche!) and that there is someone who fits perfectly.

Love is like a puzzle. When you're in love, all the pieces fit but when your heart gets broken, it takes a while to get everything back together. ~Author Unknown