Thursday, April 17, 2008

I've gone and moved


I'm not completely happy yet but it is what it is so update your links and I'll see you all there!

I'm not afraid to go BACK to prison*

It has been unseasonably warm here the past couple of days. In fact, my daughter's school lifted the "no shorts until after April vacation" ban. They are being allowed to wear shorts tomorrow. The Diva announced this to me immediately upon getting into the car this afternoon and quickly followed up with "I need to shave my legs. They are disgusting."

The Diva is 12. I have discouraged her from shaving for as long as I could. I mean, let's face it ladies. We all know what a pain it really is and the newness wears off quickly. I knew I wasn't going to discourage her for one more summer though.

This evening it was time for the big lesson. I told The Postman we were stealing borrowing his shaving cream. I rarely use it (and steal borrow his when I need it) so I don't have any.

Him: Why don't you just show her how to use the electric razor?

Me: Because it doesn't work as well. It doesn't leave the skin as smooth.

Him: What does it matter? NO ONE is going to be touching her legs.

Me: How very "stepfather with a shotgun" of you.

Sometimes the smallest, silliest things remind me why I love that man so much.

The troubles of adolescence eventually all go away - it's just like a really long, bad cold. ~Dawn Ruelas

* 5 points to whoever knows who said that!

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Rosie is abusive?

Have you read about this yet? Have you seen all the pictures?

Admittedly, I have only seen one picture and the headline that accompanied it. It's a picture of Rosie O'Donnell with her oldest son. She has a stern look on her face and she has a hold on her son - I believe she is holding on to his t-shirt. He is back to, so his face is not visible. The headline reads "Abusive Rosie bullies son, 12."

Man oh man.

I am guessing these "journalists" are not parents. Because let me just tell you, as the mother of a 12 year old girl, if they are using these pictures as evidence of abuse, I know about 500 parents who "abuse" their children. Fortunately for them, they do not have paparazzi there to capture every.single.moment. of their lives.

My daughter makes me so angry sometimes that I need to leave the room or ask her to leave the room. She can be rude, mean, selfish, and nasty. She is 12. She has hormones raging through her body, and she has no idea that the world doesn't revolve around her. I remind her, that's one of my jobs as a parent. Does that make me a bully? No. I think it makes me a great mom. My children are learning respect, self control, and common courtesy. Sometimes I need to be stern to get their attention.

My daughter - in fits of self-absorption - has turned to walk away as I am in the middle of speaking to her. You better believe she does not get away with that. Have I ever grabbed her t-shirt as Rosie appears to be doing in that picture? I don't know for sure, but I bet I have. I may have even grabbed her arm to stop her from walking away.

For a magazine to publish those pictures with that headline accompanying it is shameful, irresponsible, and more damaging to that boy than anything his parents could do. His friends are going to see and read that. His teachers, community members, and well...the entire free world are also going to see it. One of my children's fears is that, if necessary, I will reprimand them in front of their friends, my friends, or our family. It is mortifying to them. Now that poor boy has his picture splashed on the front of a magazine so the entire world can see him being reprimanded by his mother.

Bullying? No. Not by his mother anyway - but by a big corporation that will sacrifice the well being of a child in exchange for a few bucks.

I never had a policy; I have just tried to do my very best each and every day. ~Abraham Lincoln

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Another example of why I'm cool like that

The Red Sox Ring ceremony is on right now.

I'm crying like a baby.

'Nuff said.

We know we're idiots, we know we're cowboys, but we also know we're world champions.

~Upon sweeping the Cardinals in the 2004 World Series
Johnny David Damon
Boston Red Sox

Friday, April 04, 2008

It's my day!

Better Days*

And you ask me what I want this year
And I try to make this kind and clear
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

Cause I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
And designer love and empty things
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cause everyone is forgiven now
Cause tonight's the night the world begins again

I need someplace simple where we could live
And something only you can give
And thats faith and trust and peace while we're alive
And the one poor child who saved this world
And there's 10 million more who probably could
If we all just stopped and said a prayer for them

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cause everyone is forgiven now
Cause tonight's the night the world begins again

I wish everyone was loved tonight
And somehow stop this endless fight
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cause everyone is forgiven now
Cause tonight's the night the world begins again
Cause tonight's the night the world begins again

~ Johnny Rzeznik/The Goo Goo Dolls

*Not a personal wish for better days, mine are pretty good and I am truly blessed. More of a wish for better days for all of us.

I'm off on another 365 days around the sun!

Thursday, April 03, 2008

So I beat him with the clothes basket

Just yesterday I read about this phenomenon, here. Karly is funny - you'll be glad you clicked on that link.

This evening, right after supper, I took the towels out of the dryer. I folded them and placed them on the washer to put away later because both bathrooms were occupied at the time. Soon after, I saw the Postman walk by with a pile of clothes.

Just a few minutes ago, I went to the laundry room to look for something else and saw my neat pile of folded towels a heap of what used to be perfectly folded, crisp clean towels. In his eagerness to put his clothes in the washer (ALL of them. Not sorted.), he just pushed aside the pile of towels I folded.

Me: Did you seriously just push the towels aside rather than carry them to the bathroom?

Him: They weren't ours, were they?

Me: Seriously?

And for any of you that dare say I should be happy he put his clothes in the washer, I will also beat you with the clothes basket.

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. ~Erma Bombeck


My grandmother turns 98 years old today.

98 freakin' years old.

She was alive for WWI. How crazy is that?

One of my grandmother's favorite stories was about where she was when she found out President Kennedy had been shot. She was on an escalator (although I am not sure where), and was so stunned that she forgot to step off and got her heel caught.

My grandparents retired fairly young, and moved from New Jersey to Virginia. They had an active retirement filled with much traveling, golf (my grandfather) and tennis (my grandmother). I spent two weeks with them every summer and remember how grown up I felt being allowed to hang out at the pool at the country club while they played their respective sports. Even better was getting dressed up to go to dinner at "the club".

We celebrated her 85th birthday at the country club, but by then she had all but given up tennis. They were still members, but mostly it was just a place for them to be social and visit with friends rather than be physically active.

I would like to say that my grandmother has her wits about her, but the truth is, she does not. She would not know me if I walked in today - in fact, she might ask one of her nurses who the new girl is. She is comfortable and cared for. She gets her hair done and her nails done. Hopefully, in some part of her brain, she has memories of her travels, her cocktail parties, and her friends and family.

Happy birthday, Gram!

Soon I will be an old, white-haired lady, into whose lap someone places a baby, saying, "Smile, Grandma!" - I, who myself so recently was photographed on my grandmother's lap. ~Liv Ullmann

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Ms. Fix-It

The other night we had a mishap with the space heater.

Because the Postman loves me so much, he bought me a space heater to put by my desk because I am always bitching about being cold.

When I turned it off the other night, I apparently didn't turn it off completely. (I think it malfunctioned and now I'm scared of it.) After a few minutes the smoke alarm near my desk started going off. We quickly figured out the problem and as the Postman went to work on turning the heater completely off, I yanked the smoke alarm off the wall since the kids were already in bed and there was no imminent danger. Being the diligent human/parent that I am, I put the alarm on the bureau in our bedroom. Just until the next morning.

Except that the next morning? I was too lazy to pull out the step stool and climb up there to put the smoke alarm back on the wall.

So when I heard it beeping, I obligingly got the step stool pulled the battery out of it.

When it continued beeping (apparently some sort of signal that it is not currently hard wired since I'm holding it in my hand), I shoved it under a pile of clothes in the Postman's closet.

At least the ones in the kitchen and near the kid's bedrooms are on the wall and working. I think. I would have to get the step stool to check.

What is right is often forgotten by what is convenient. ~Bodie Thoene, Warsaw Requiem

Monday, March 31, 2008

I've been waiting for this

A co-worker had us laughing with a story about her 4 year old asking was E.D. is. You know...from the Viagra commercials? At the time, I had wondered why my kids had never asked.

It finally happened. And I was ready.

The Captain, while watching tv yesterday: "Mom, what is an erection?"

Me: "Postman! Come in here, the Captain has a question for you!"

I am nothing if not prepared.

Sex is God's joke on human beings. ~Bette Davis